Dilbert -- by Scott Adams

Dilbert 1

Dilbert: As usual, I worked until midnight last night, mom.

Dilbert’s mom: Well, at least you made some extra money.

Dilbert: I don’t get paid for overtime

Dilbert’s mom: Well, at least it was important work.

Dilbert: Not really.

Dilbert: My boss made me change my “powerpoint” slides, but the changes make them worse.

Dilbert’s mom: Well, at least you’re prepared for your meeting.

Dilbert: It was cancelled.

Dilbert: But that’s okay, because the project isn’t funded anyway.

Dilbert’s mom: So… you worked for free to worsen a presentation for a meeting that won’t happen for a project that doesn’t exist?

Dilbert: YUP.

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Dilbert 2

Boss: We have too many empty cubicles, it frightens our customers.

Boss: Each of you will adopt an empty cubicle and decorate it to appear occupied.

Dilbert’s colleague: My imaginary employee will be a Frenchman named Phil de Cube.

Dilbert: Nice.

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Dilbert 3

Boss: Dilbert, put together a team to decide who’ll be on the strategy council.

Dilbert: You want me to form a committee to create a committee that will produce a document that will be ignored?

Boss: No, it’s a team to create a council.

Dilbert’s colleague: Can I be on the team that ignores the document?


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Dilbert 4

Dilbert: I’m grossly underpaid. I want a raise.

Boss: Oh, Dilbert, Dilbert, Dilbert.

Dilbert: What? What? What?

Boss: People don’t work here for the money.

Boss: They work here for the challenge!

Dilbert: If challenges are more valuable than money…

Dilbert: Why don’t you give me your money and I’ll give you my challenge?

Dilbert: Well?

Boss: I must kill him before he infects the others…

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